1 EVALUTION
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Connect. Believe. Achieve.

Connect. Believe. Achieve.

His Guiding Light!

Although my life is full of experiences, one in particular, I will never forget. This particular experience stays at the forefront of my mind and helps me during the times when doubt tries to rear its ugly head, lead me down a negative path and make me question if my life has a purpose? I am grateful for this experience and remember it vividly as I was guided to safety down a dark mountain, icy road, in Vermont. 

Although I grew up in Boston, prior to being relocated with my job to New Hampshire, I was not familiar with driving in any of the states that would now be my territory -  Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont and Rhode Island.  However, I am grateful that I worked for someone who was concerned about my safety and well-being. My boss would always tell me to travel during the daylight hours and to be aware of the mountain roads, especially in Vermont. 

Driving on Interstate 89  to and from Vermont can be beautiful, scenic during the spring, summer and especially the fall.  However, Interstate 89  can be a  challenging drive during the winter months. I would sometimes drive through various weather conditions.  It could be sunny for miles, then heavy snow, sleet or ice.  I just never knew what weather conditions I would encounter. To be safe and complete the four and half hour drive, I always allowed enough time to reach my destination during the daylight hours.  However, one particular winter day, I decided to leave the office in Vermont and drive home during the late afternoon, knowing that I would have to drive for hours in the dark.  

After being on the road for about ninety minutes I drove into a snow storm. It was dark and the roads were icy. There I was driving down this mountain, icy road. I was petrified and could barely see. I slowed down to almost a crawl, gripping the steering wheel, increased the speed of the windshield wipers and because there was no place to pull over, I  had to keep going. As I continued to drive, I realized there were no other cars on the road. It was like everyone, except me, got the memo to stay off the roads. 

As I continued driving, I began to pray, asking God to protect and guide me to safety. Within minutes, a car pulled onto the highway in front of me.  Although I was glad to see another car on the road, I  reluctantly tapped my brakes, afraid of skidding on the ice,  and slowed down even more. I  stayed behind the car and followed the taillights. After a while, I realized the car in front of me was my guide and began to feel relieved that my prayers had been answered.  The car stayed in front in me all the way down  Interstate 89,  guiding me to safety. As soon as we got to the bottom of the mountains, the weather improved and the car that veered onto the highway and guided me to safety began to make his exit. As the car veered to the right to exit the highway, I continued on slowly. The driver rolled down his window, beeped his horn and waived - as to acknowledge his role in guiding me to safety. I blew my horn and smiled. I  knew without a doubt that God had sent him to guide me.

I will always hold this memory dear to my heart and know that I have a purpose. So whenever I need to shake off doubt, I close my eyes and see the taillights guiding and protecting me. It is my way of connecting to self and tapping into my faith.

I am forever thankful for His guiding light. 
Stay on the course to achieve your dream.

Five things I do daily to stay on course to achieve my dream. 

1. Pray  
2. Do the work 
3. Stay positive and focused 
4. Trust and belief
5. Have faith 

Every day I am mindful to pray, do the necessary work to achieve my dream (actionable steps) and to keep going. Although there are days when doubt creeps in, I fight back with a positive attitude, trust, and belief that I can achieve what I desire.  On those days, when it is difficult to stay focused and I can't see how my dream will come to pass, I rely on my faith -  knowing and believing that all things are possible with God. 

I lived as an imposter.

As I reminiscence over my life, I remember there was a time I lived as an imposter. There was a time in my life when I portrayed this imagine of a strong, intelligent and confident woman. However, on the inside, my insecurities were screaming, trying to get out and show themselves. Although I managed to hide them, my insecurities had a major impact on my life and I am mindful of them today.

Questioned if I was good enough

Wanted more for my life but was afraid to acknowledge it

Opportunities I didn't pursue

Didn't have the belief, trust, and faith that I could achieve what I desired

Needed help but refused to ask

Afraid of rejection and failure

Ruled by my ego

 

During this time, every day I made conscious decisions not to acknowledge my insecurities, and lived afraid to allow the world to see the real me.

Today what's interesting, as I look back, I think the world saw exactly who I was. I was fighting so hard to portray this imagine that I am sure my insecurities showed up in many ways. For instance, how I acted and responded to people, not let them get too close, not being as open and receptive, afraid they would see the person I was trying to hide. 

Over the years I have acknowledged and worked hard to address my insecurities, to overcome them. Through therapy, coaching and the grace of God, I can stand, living and being true to myself. I no longer have to hide. I am not afraid of being judged and there is no internal screaming. I know that I am good enough, and have the belief and faith that I can achieve what I desire. I am free and at peace. Because of all the hard work I can say for sure, I am confident, intelligent, kind, passionate and open for the world to see me just as I am.

Today, I make conscious decisions to remove anything that would prevent me from being true to myself, pursuing my desires and living a fulfilling life.

Acknowledging my insecurities and working through them has empowered me. Although I will always be mindful of my past insecurities and quick to not turn away if any signs of them attempt to appear, I am no longer an imposter. I am free.