THE CRAB MENTALITY sometimes referred to as crabs in a bucket or barrel, is a way of thinking and is best described as "IF I CAN'T........ THEN NEITHER CAN YOU" This metaphor refers to crabs that are trapped in a bucket and their focus is on saving oneself rather than working together to save or support the entire group.
This same analogy can be applied to human behavior, as members of a group will attempt to prevent any member from moving forward from the other members. As a result, none of the members of the group are able to excel or achieve success. This behavior can be attributed to envy, spite or selfishness.
The end result, as an individual, you become STUCK and SURROUNDED by people with the attitude of, "IF I CAN'T ...... THEN NEITHER CAN YOU". As a result, you will not be able to move forward but live a life of status quo, rather than pursuing what you want to achieve. If you are a victim of the CRAB MENTALITY, here are 3 things you can do to move forward.
1. You must BELIEVE that you can move forward and accomplish whatever you want. If you don't believe it you will not be able to move forward.
2. SURROUND yourself with positive, and supportive people. This is especially important if you have doubts. Surround yourself with people that believe in you until you are centered and have the confidence to believe in yourself.
3. You must do the WORK. Have a plan, things just don't happen by chance. Seek out the tools, resources, and support you need to help you move forward.
Know this, when the student is ready the teacher will appear! Do not allow other people to hold you back. Go forward and live the life you want!
BE THE MOST POWERFUL YOU + LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT!
Although my life is full of experiences, one in particular, I will never forget. This particular experience stays at the forefront of my mind and helps me during the times when doubt tries to rear its ugly head, lead me down a negative path and make me question if my life has a purpose? I am grateful for this experience and remember it vividly as I was guided to safety down a dark mountain, icy road, in Vermont.
Although I grew up in Boston, prior to being relocated with my job to New Hampshire, I was not familiar with driving in any of the states that would now be my territory - Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont and Rhode Island. However, I am grateful that I worked for someone who was concerned about my safety and well-being. My boss would always tell me to travel during the daylight hours and to be aware of the mountain roads, especially in Vermont.
Driving on Interstate 89 to and from Vermont can be beautiful, scenic during the spring, summer and especially the fall. However, Interstate 89 can be a challenging drive during the winter months. I would sometimes drive through various weather conditions. It could be sunny for miles, then heavy snow, sleet or ice. I just never knew what weather conditions I would encounter. To be safe and complete the four and half hour drive, I always allowed enough time to reach my destination during the daylight hours. However, one particular winter day, I decided to leave the office in Vermont and drive home during the late afternoon, knowing that I would have to drive for hours in the dark.
After being on the road for about ninety minutes I drove into a snow storm. It was dark and the roads were icy. There I was driving down this mountain, icy road. I was petrified and could barely see. I slowed down to almost a crawl, gripping the steering wheel, increased the speed of the windshield wipers and because there was no place to pull over, I had to keep going. As I continued to drive, I realized there were no other cars on the road. It was like everyone, except me, got the memo to stay off the roads.
As I continued driving, I began to pray, asking God to protect and guide me to safety. Within minutes, a car pulled onto the highway in front of me. Although I was glad to see another car on the road, I reluctantly tapped my brakes, afraid of skidding on the ice, and slowed down even more. I stayed behind the car and followed the taillights. After a while, I realized the car in front of me was my guide and began to feel relieved that my prayers had been answered. The car stayed in front in me all the way down Interstate 89, guiding me to safety. As soon as we got to the bottom of the mountains, the weather improved and the car that veered onto the highway and guided me to safety began to make his exit. As the car veered to the right to exit the highway, I continued on slowly. The driver rolled down his window, beeped his horn and waived - as to acknowledge his role in guiding me to safety. I blew my horn and smiled. I knew without a doubt that God had sent him to guide me.
I will always hold this memory dear to my heart and know that I have a purpose. So whenever I need to shake off doubt, I close my eyes and see the taillights guiding and protecting me. It is my way of connecting to self and tapping into my faith.
I am forever thankful for His guiding light.
Five things I do daily to stay on course to achieve my dreams.
1. Pray - I begin my morning with prayer.
2. Do the work - I have a plan and the support I need.
3. Stay positive and focused - maintaining a positive attitude is so important, focus your energy on what is important to you.
4. Trust and believe - I know that I have purpose and believe I am doing what I am meant to do.
5. Have faith - although I don't always know how my dreams will come to pass, I do the work and don't focus on the how.
Every day I am mindful to pray, do the necessary work to achieve my dream (actionable steps) and to keep going. Although there are days when doubt creeps in, I fight back with a positive attitude, trust, and believe that I can achieve what I desire. On those days, when it is difficult to stay focused and I can't see how my dream will come to pass, I rely on my faith - knowing and believing that all things are possible with God.